Everyone and anyone you can image is the kind of person
who uses sex toys. In fact research on vibrator use
suggests that people who are having sex use sex toys
more than those who aren’t, and that between 20-30%
of people have used sex toys at least once in their
lives. Sex toys aren’t a crutch or a cure-all,
they are an addition to your sexual repertoire.
Are sex toys are addictive?
Addiction implies harm, and there is nothing harmful
about using sex toys (as long as they’re used
properly). It’s true that people can become used
to using sex toys, and even come to rely on them, but
there is no “withdrawal” and anyone can
easily get themselves back to masturbation or partner
sex without sex toys. People who suggest that vibrator
addiction is real tend to be people who think that any
sex toy use is too much sex toy use.
If a woman has a sex toy, she won’t
need a man.
Sex toys are not replacements for people. A sex toy
won’t make you breakfast, or cuddle, or tell you
how much it loves you. Many men are intimidated by sex
toys because they have been raised with the idea that
the most important thing about them is what’s
between their legs. These myths about male sexuality
sink in early, and as a result most men are insecure
about their sexual importance. Also, let’s remember
that there are lots of women who don’t want a
man in the first place, and a sex toy isn’t going
to change that one way or the other.
Men only use sex toys because they
can’t get any “real” sex.
The cliché about men and sex toys is the guy
in the raincoat, buying the “masturbator”
and watching porn in his basement while masturbating.
The reality about men and sex toys is that millions
of them use them, in one study it was 21% of respondents,
both when they are in relationships and single. The
best way for a man to become a better lover is to learn
more about his own sexual response. Masturbation, with
or without sex toys, is the key to this, and to learning
to control ejaculation. Using sex toys doesn’t
mean a man is a loser, it means he’s smart, and
likely to be better in bed for it.
There are bad sex toys and good sex
toys.
With the exception of a few sex toys that pose obvious
risks, there is no such thing as a “good”
or “bad” sex toy. Sex toys are whatever
we do with them. A vibrator that would be too strong,
too heavy, and painful for one person might be perfect
for another. A dildo that feels sticky and looks weird
to one, might be the ideal shape, size and texture for
another. The trick is to find the sex toy that’s
right for you, but most sex toys will be good for some
people, and bad for others.
Sex toys are kinky.
Fact:Words like “kinky” and “normal”
are completely relative and while they may govern what
you feel comfortable talking about (or doing) in public,
the sooner you realize that everyone is “kinky”
behind closed doors, the happier and less stressful
your sex life will be. Sex toys don’t make sex
kinky, and using them doesn’t “say”
anything about the kind of person you are, other than
the fact that you’re the kind of person who feels
worthy of sexual pleasure. Which is a highly respectable
reputation to have in any social circle.
Sex toys can cause damage to your
body:
Those people who would rather us not use sex toys at
all come up with a variety of arguments for why they
are bad. They’re addictive, their weird, and if
you use them you can ruin yourself for “real sex”.
For starters, “real sex” is any kind of
sex you’re having or thinking about having. Also,
there is no evidence whatsoever that sex toys can damage
or harm your sexual sensitivity or genitalia. Of course
you could always poke out an eye if you don’t
use your sex toy properly, but the same is true of your
can opener, and no one’s telling you to throw
that away.
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