The first thing to do is learn to relax. This may include
a hot bath beforehand, an erotic massage or even just
a good workout. Remember that the sphincter muscles
around the anus will not allow things to pass through
easily unless you relax and take it slow. Do not start
with something the size of a dildo or penis. Start with
either: a) your partner's finger or b) small butt plug.
The plug provides a unique sensation and many couples
consider it an exciting addition to the bedroom. If
you're more comfortable with a partner's finger then
start with that. The basic principle is to start small
and work your way up.
Manual Stimulation
There are many objects that can be used to safely stimulate
the anus. A finger, tongue, penis, sex toys...you name
it. If you're thinking about trying anal stimulation,
body parts are probably the best place to start. Fingers
are good because they're soft and are about the right
size. Be sure to clip your fingernails before you start.
You don't want to tear the sensitive tissue of the anus
and rectum. If you're thinking of using something other
than your body parts, my first suggestion would be to
try an anal sex toy. They're designed for this purpose,
so they're a safer choice than other objects. Whatever
you use, be sure it's slim, smooth and flared at the
base.
One partner should lubricate or place
a lubricated condom over his or her finger. Take the
finger and arouse the surface of the anus, perhaps making
small circular motions as you go. Always pay attention
to your partner to indicate whether or not he or she
feels comfortable. Slowly attempt to push your finger
(or plug) slightly inside the anus. Do not use force
- stop immediately if your partner complains of discomfort.
If it is difficult to enter the anus, you probably need
more lubrication. The first time you try this, the receiver
may feel a bit of pain. Anal sex is not for everyone,
and if you feel uncomfortable stop and perhaps try again
later. Think of this process as training for later anal
encounters. Even a finger can provide intense stimulation
when it is inserted in the anus.
Once you have tried penetration with
a finger a number of times then you can move towards
something that is a bit larger. First you have to decide
on what type of anal stimulation that you enjoy. Do
you enjoy the movement of a finger, the fullness of
a butt plug, or the feeling of entry and withdrawal?
You may wish to proceed by being penetrated with your
partner's penis or by using an anal sex toy. For those
who enjoy the feeling of penetration more than motion
or vibration, try butt plugs which are designed specifically
for this purpose. A butt plug sits inside the anus,
and is not generally used for thrusting back and forth.
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