Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know
how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play
with the buttons and switches and find out how many
speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well
before using it. If it isn’t waterproof, be careful
not to get any water near the battery case. Check for
sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down
and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t
coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires
are solid and secure. If there are any flaws, return
your vibrator before you use it.
Even if you’re planning on using
your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea
to check it our by yourself first. You’ll feel
less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate
on how it feels for you without being distracted (for
better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a
little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got
roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors,
you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets
and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want
to think about getting a quieter vibrator).
Not everyone will be comfortable with
this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on,
but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be
very educational and useful. You can discover specific
places on your body that are rich with nerve endings
and ripe for stimulation. This is the kind of information
you can use on yourself in the future and share with
a lover. You can achieve the same effect with touch,
knowing exactly where the vibrator is, but seeing what’s
going on can be a benefit for some.
Get comfortable with the feel of the
vibrator on your body. Run the vibe along your body
without even turning it on. Notice how it feels. Press
it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles
with it. If the vibrator is a hard material this will
probably feel nice. If the vibrator is a soft rubber
and doesn’t feel smooth against your skin, try
the above with your clothes on. This isn’t meant
to give you an orgasm, but it’s a gentle way of
introducing your body to the vibrator.
Once you turn it on, start by touching
the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up
and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your
shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Again, you
can start with some clothes on if you like. Even though
vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris,
don’t just jump to the main event. Get a feel
for the vibration all over your body and then slowly
move to the more sensitive parts. You can slowly move
the vibrator up your inner thigh, or in circles around
your breasts and nipples.
The great thing about vibrators is
that they never get tired, and they let you explore
every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Most women
use vibrators for clitoral stimulation and many women
report that one side -- or even one portion -- of their
clitoris responds to vibration more than another. Think
of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both
your compass and your flashlight (in fact some vibrators
come with flashlights). Don’t rush, leaving a
vibrator in place can allow it to establish sensation
connections that previously weren’t there.
Most vibrators have multiple speed
settings (or at least two settings). Always start on
a low setting and work your way up. If a vibrator feels
too strong at first you can put a towel between you
and the vibrator, or just press it lightly against your
body. You may find that on some areas a lower speed
is all you need, and on others stronger is better. Some
vibrators have “pulsation” settings, but
you can also play with turning the strength up and down
in rapid succession.
Experiment with applying different
pressure. You may enjoy a lot of deep pressure with
clitoral stimulation or you may want to hold a vibrator
just slightly above the body. You can press your vibrator
deep into your skin and massage the muscles while also
feeling the stimulation of the motor. With most battery-powered
vibrators, the more pressure you apply the lower the
vibration feels. Also the stronger you hold your vibrator,
the more vibration gets absorbed by your hand. Experiment
with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love
smack down, and find what works for you.
Most women use vibrators for external
stimulation, but as long as your vibrator is safe for
penetration there’s no reason not to try it. A
vibrator that is safe for penetration will be smooth,
have no rough edges, and won’t absorb bodily fluids.
In almost all cases. it’s recommended to put a
condom over a vibrator if you’re using it for
penetration. You should also use water based lubricant
when using a vibrator for penetration. You can put some
lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers
put some lube on your vulva and just inside your vagina.
Start slow with penetration and get
yourself aroused by using the vibrator externally first.
While far more nerve endings are outside the vagina
than inside, lots of women enjoy penetration with a
vibrator. Some women will use a vibrator to find and
stimulate the g spot. It has also been hypothesized
that nerve endings in the cervix respond to stimulation
and pressure. Pressing the vibrator against the top
of your vagina (such as pressing it towards your belly)
may provide g spot stimulation or even indirect clitoral
stimulation.
You can use your vibrator with your
partner in any number of ways. You can control the vibe,
using it on yourself to add stimulation during sex play
with a partner. You can use the vibrator on your partner
(or vice versa). You can also find a vibrator that fits
well between you and your partner that neither of you
need to control, but can add stimulation during sex.
However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for
each of you to follow the above steps first, and get
fully comfortable on your own before making it a threesome.
Some vibrators have a curved tip and
are sold as g spot vibrators. These toys can make it
easier to reach the g spot but they are no guarantee
that you’ll enjoy g spot stimulation. Also, any
firm vibrator can be used to stimulate the g spot.
If you want to insert a vibrator anally,
only use vibrators designed for anal penetration. The
toy should be smooth and seamless, and should have a
flared base to prevent it from slipping all the way
in.
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